Tuesday, August 8, 2017


Did you ever notice
It’s not loneliness
It’s not the yearning so much
For companionship
Or even intimacy

It’s the luxury of having someone
Help you make decisions?

A million decisions
Every day
To make in solitary

What to spend the next
Five minutes doing

What needs more time

Whether to meditate
Or go for a walk

Whether to tackle the bills,
The dishes, or the laundry

To binge-watch some Netflix
Or color my hair

Whether to work on the novel
Or this poem

To be honest
I’ve always had a problem
With intimacy

Nobody gets close
And if they do
I banish them all too soon

It must be a shock
It must hurt a lot
To be let in
And then shut out

I used to rationalize it
With an artistic need for solitude
That desire to create without audience
Without critic
Without collaborator

And then I learned to dance
To co-create with a partner

Now I miss that steady hand
At the small of my back